


The Angel Who Lived

by Ila_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel's Thoughts, Coda?, Death, Gen, I don't understand tags, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, post season 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 01:31:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11003175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ila_Winchester/pseuds/Ila_Winchester
Summary: Castiel dies on a fine thursday surrounded by the people he loved.





	The Angel Who Lived

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is an experiment of sort and I am very new to this. This is just something that I wrote just after the finale, unbeta'd and a spurr of the moment kind of thing. I hope I don't bore you much. And I honestly don't understand tags

Castiel died on a fine Thursday, surrounded by the people he loved, the people who loved him. The irony wasn’t lost on him, the angel of Thursday dead on a Thursday. He felt the ghost of smile forming on his lips, except he didn’t have lips, or a face or body for that matter. He was disembodied, a spirit perhaps. But angels aren’t supposed to be spirits are they? He surely did not possess a soul. Yet here he was gazing down (though he did not have eyes!) upon his loved ones, watching helplessly as Mary Winchester fell through a portal along with Lucifer into some apocalyptic reality. He watched as Sam Winchester ran into the cabin to find the son he could have raised, had he lived. Regret echoed somewhere in his disembodied existence. 

 

He saw Dean Winchester fall on his knees and for the first time noticed his now empty vessel lying amidst the charred marking of his broken wings. _How art thou fallen, O Castiel?!_ He had rebelled, he had fallen , he had forsworn heaven and made poor choices but he loved and cherished, pined and fought, he embraced humanity and fell prey to emotions, he felt empathy, sympathy, hunger and privation, he experienced anger and profound sadness, satisfaction and unadulterated joy, he had desired and had been desired, he made mistakes and tasted regret. And God! If he was given a chance to choose, to rewrite his fall, to make a different choice, he wouldn’t change a single damn thing, he would fall again and a thousand times over for because he was fallen, Castiel had truly lived. 

 

He saw Dean Winchester weeping over his vessel. Another sharp pang of regret flashed somewhere. He had brought pain to Dean, something he never intended to do in his existence. Castiel loved Dean. He was not human and he never truly understood the labels human beings gave to emotions. He was a spiritual being and to him love was one, true and boundless. And Castiel loved Dean the way he understood love. His father, the Lord had asked his brethren to love humanity and love he did, not for his father but for himself. Castiel loved his human charge with the very core of his being and he revelled in the knowledge that the sentiment was returned with equal fervour. And despite his betrayal Castiel hoped that Dean understood the love. He hoped Sam saw through his actions because it was important for him that they knew. He felt what must have been endless pain as he watched as Sam place a comforting hand over Dean’s shoulder. A boy stood beside Sam, wrapped in a blanket, the son he desired to raise. Dean cradled his vessel in his arms and closed his eyes. They were his family, he had a family and he died surrounded by them. Castiel felt warmth spread through him. He felt profound sadness for what he had lost but he was also content. He had died, and even though it may take time they will be alright and that was all that mattered. The warmth gently beckoned him into her lap and he embraced her with surety.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think it was Castiel who died though. Or rather he may not have been our Castiel but the AU!Castiel. But Fuck the writers anyway coz I was dreading Cas' death and they made it happen and all of us watched it. Also I am dead sure that Cas loves Dean and the sentiment is returned. But Cas' a genderless angel, a spiritual being, love for him can mean anything. At least Canonically lol.


End file.
